SDLC 2010 – I Call It Recursive Idiocy

Here’s a software development life-cycle template that I offer you, my colleagues, free of charge.

• Gather requirements
• Gather more requirements
• Assign Project
• Begin coding
• Change requirements before any useful code has been written and do not tell the developer
• Keep coding with a confused but happy look on your face
• Change requirements again, this time eliminating an entire requirement that has already been coded
• Keep coding with a straight face
• Change requirements and also add some new requirements
• Keep coding still with nobody having seen the code
• Create a new task with other additions to the same code that has not yet been seen or approved.
• Keep coding, but much slower and in disbelief that a place functions like this
• Add more items to a task and say it’s the final list of items to work on.
• Keep coding but do a lot more internet surfing since you realize this crap isn’t going to end well
• Add more items to the list which you just said was final for the second time but mark it as TBD
• Stop coding because you’re just pissed off
• Business Analyst asks Developer how progress is coming on the task where half of the original items are crossed out and some items still are marked TBD
• Testers ask the Developer how testing is going.
• Developer is so confused he looks for a new job and give up working on the project.
• BA thinks project is still coming along nicely even though no coding has been done for the task as it is listed now.
• Developer’s supervisor quits in disgust  nobody cares but his team
• Developers leave one by one
• Company keeps running with idiots at the wheel
• Life goes on